Canada’s Supreme Court today ruled that differently-weighted people (ie. people with gigantic arses) have a “right” to two seats on an airplane for the price of one.

In a move right out of some sort of Kurt Vonnegut nightmare, these dipsticks have essentially said that, rather than have to deal with their gluttony, the rest of us must now subsidize their excessive burger-and-fries narcissism.

Coming soon to the 9th Circuit, no doubt of it whatsoever.

A 19-year-old man is accused of hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off and nearly causing their automobile to crash. The suspect admits to the sandwich assault, saying he chose that over hitting the woman. Proof positive you don’t have to go underground to take the Subway!

should take this as it’s model:

VIENNA, Austria (AP) - Cabs in the Austrian city of Salzburg just got classier: Drivers can no longer wear tracksuits. The new regulation took effect earlier this month in an attempt to improve the image of cabbies in a place known for its upmarket clientele.

I’ve heard of people getting drunk and arrested for it. But this guy takes the cake; assaulting his arresting officers with a golden shower wasn’t the smartest move, I’m thinking.

I think it’s best to not find a picture to illustrate this story. You’re welcome.

After doctors refused to further indulge a 48-year-old Korean woman’s addiction to plastic surgery, she resorted to injecting cooking oil into her own face. Before and after, below.

Apparently frustrated in his search for an Amish female to molest, Ryan Bailey instead sexually assaulted a 29-year-old Amish man. The victim told investigators that Bailey said he had been looking for an Amish girl, but a man would have to do.

I was really just looking for a cheap excuse to post this ridiculous picture…enjoy.

Not one week after his winning the Electoral College, Barack Obama is being “called upon” to stop raids on illegals, and make them legal citizens.

How dare they actually believe in their religion? That pesky Bill of Rights needs to be canceled, right now!

Proponents of Gay Marriage have set upon a singular target for their post-election angst: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. These folks have the temerity (along with what, 70% of black voters), to actually vote the way their conscience dictates.

I for one could give a hoot about who you want to “love”. That’s your personal, private business. But this all boils down to a word: Marriage. California allows “civil unions”; I’m all in favor of that. The Law itself allows anyone to enter into any kind of contract you might conjure up.

To a lot of people (including such nobodies as our Founding Fathers), marriage has a specific meaning — a basic, God-given covenent between one man and one woman to found a family that is the basic foundation of civilization.

Why would people want to take away the “specialness” of such an institution?  Can you imagine the lawsuits that would issue forth restricting religious liberty (there I go again with that pesky Bill of Rights).

Catholic Churches refusing to marry two women? Why, they ought to lose their tax-exemptions!!!1!

Mormons, who believe that homosexuality is (gasp!) a sin, if actually committed? They would be hauled up before the secular courts for denying “marriage” — even Temple marriage, which is restricted even for members. (BTW has anyone actually looked at the numbers of LDS in California? Guess what, it’s far larger than you might otherwise surmise — and it’s far more prosperous than you might also otherwise assume.)

Anyhow, I could go on and on. And perhaps I will.

The Toy Hall of Fame, in a sudden and no-doubt highly controversial move, will induct “The Stick” into the Hall.

Previously, such amazing inventions as “the cardboard box” have been inducted.

I’m still pulling for the “finger gun”, that was one of my favorites growing up.

Who do you see in this picture? Now, stand up and back off from your computer, and who do you see?

Hat tip to Steve Ray’s Blog

What do you do if the police won’t hear your complaint or take you seriously? Apparently, the best thing to do is call them over 7,000 times.  Or maybe it isn’t.

Japanese police arrested a woman for making more than 7,000 emergency telephone calls because an officer did not take her initial complaint seriously, a police spokesman said Wednesday.The 38-year-old was arrested on Tuesday on charges of obstructing police work, a police spokesman in western Osaka said.

She made 7,177 calls during the day or night between September 14 and October 13 this year, sometimes shouting “drop dead” at police, he said.

The woman first called in 2005 to say she had been hit by a man, but the officer who answered her call “did not take the allegation seriously, because what she said was hard to understand,” he said.

“She apparently had a grudge against police officials,” he said.

I should say so. I also think the police showed remarkable, almost zen-master patience.

But not because Barack won — it’s because he’s suddenly no longer needed. While this election meant many things, it also meant that we’ve finally put to rest the idea that “AmeriKKKa” is a racist country.

Yeah, we have a bunch of red-neck race haters — and we still have their opposite numbers amongst people of color. But this election proves once and for all that Americans just don’t care about skin color. Of course, we also apparently don’t care about creeping socialism, income redistribution, billion dollar elections, ACORN, government control of health care, supporting our troops overseas or defending our country from its enemies.

But at least we’re not racists.

Due to the extreme danger of smoking, and the surplus of people willing to foster children,

LONDON (Reuters) - A council has become the first in London to rule that smokers will no longer be able to foster children.

Redbridge Council’s cabinet agreed Tuesday night to a ban on placing children with foster carers who smoke unless there are exceptional circumstances.

No doubt, soon we will also see a ban on parents who curse, people who are overweight, foster parents who drive too fast, volunteers who fart occasionally, and anyone who might possibly vote conservative.

And what will you do when he does it?

Thank goodness all the tyranny ends in January:

Actor and liberal activist Tim Robbins had a battle before he could vote in Manhattan on Tuesday. His name was missing from the registration rolls, and an election supervisor and a police officer got involved before Robbins got a judge to issue a court order allowing him to vote when his registration was later verified.

“This is just one example of how difficult it is to vote in the United States,” he said.

Hey pal–shank this: you’re a self important twit.

Barring the polls (and the media, and the NEA, and the UC faculty lounges and anyone making under $250K $200K $150K…well, you get the idea) being wrong, we’re entering uncharted territory come January. The net result? We’ll all be finding out what it feels like when doves cry.

British political observer Melanie Phillips writing in the UK’s Spectator gawks in stupefied amazement:

“You have to pinch yourself—a Marxist radical who all his life has been mentored by, sat at the feet of, worshiped with, befriended, endorsed the philosophy of, funded and been in turn funded, politically promoted and supported a nexus comprising black power anti-white racists, Jew haters, revolutionary Marxists, unrepentant former terrorists, and Chicago mobsters, is on the verge of becoming President of the United States. And apparently, it’s considered impolite to say so.”

Poor guy finally realized his lifelong dream of bowling a perfect game. And promptly kicked the bucket.

RAVENNA, Mich. (WZZM) - Teammates in his bowling league think after rolling a perfect 300 game Don Doane’s heart just gave out.

“You get nervous shooting a 300,” says teammate Todd Place. “The pressure keeps building,” says bowling alley owner Jim Nutt.

Minutes after achieving the life long goal of a perfect game the 62 year old bowler collapsed and died at Ravenna Bowl in Ravenna. “Don just collapsed,” says alley owner Nutt. ” At first we thought he just fainted.” “Then when I rolled him over I realized it wasn’t good,” says teammate Place.

“I think he died by the time he hit the floor.” Don Doane was a member of the “Nutt Farm” bowling team at Ravenna Bowl for 45 years. His teammates says its strange not to see him on league nights.

“It was like a book, a final chapter,” says Place. “He threw his 300 game with all of his friends, gave each other high-fives and it’s like the story ended. He died with a smile on his face.”

He reached his goal; he went out with a smile. But for me, I guess I will have to just put off shooting par out at El Cariso indefinitely. It could be fatal.

Show this to your wife the next time she complains you didn’t do the vacuuming last weekend. This may put me off pizza for a long time, although I sadly suspect I may not have any appetite tomorrow night anyway.

Well that’s a fine kettle of fish!

Eminent genius and perfect prognosticator Erica Jong tells an Italian newspaper all about her paranoid delusions:

Basically, Jong says her fear that Obama might lose the election has developed into an “obsession. A paralyzing terror. An anxious fever that keeps you awake at night.” She also says that her friends Jane Fonda and Naomi Wolf are extremely worried that Obama will be sabotaged by Republican dirty tricks, and that if an Obama loss indeed comes to pass, the result will be a second American Civil War.

Among other chestnuts she throws out for the world to see:

“The record shows that voting machines in America are rigged.”

“My friends Ken Follett and Susan Cheever are extremely worried. Naomi Wolf calls me every day. Yesterday, Jane Fonda sent me an email to tell me that she cried all night and can’t cure her ailing back for all the stress that has reduces her to a bundle of nerves.”

“My back is also suffering from spasms, so much so that I had to see an acupuncturist and get prescriptions for Valium.”

“After having stolen the last two elections, the Republican Mafia…”

“If Obama loses it will spark the second American Civil War. Blood will run in the streets, believe me. And it’s not a coincidence that President Bush recalled soldiers from Iraq for Dick Cheney to lead against American citizens in the streets.”

“Bush has transformed America into a police state, from torture to the imprisonment of reporters, to the Patriot Act.”

Obviously, Erica, Jane, and Naomi really need to take a vacation. Seriously.

I never realized that extreme obesity was as relatively common as it turns out to be. Some of the biggest names in fat are documented here, it makes for some interesting reading.

A French man attempting to retrieve his cell phone from the toilet on a high-speed French TGV train had to be removed from the train by paramedics, bowl and all. Oddly enough, the train actually smelled worse after the commode was removed. Oh, snap!

A Dutchman claimed that it was entrapment when police left a bike unlocked and he subsequently attempted to ride off on it.

Happily, the Supreme Court ruled that, no, he wasn’t entrapped, and perhaps taking other’s property was still a bad thing, even in the Golden Age of Obama that is emerging for the world.

“Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful”. — Warren Buffett

Part of what I do for a living involves investing in stocks and bonds.

Over the last few weeks, and months, I’ve noticed that markets can be mindless. Long a believer in relatively efficient markets, I’m becoming more and more convinced that they would be, if they weren’t peopled by idiots. I do believe, however, that in the long term (ie not a 24 hour news cycle, or a month, or a quarter, or a year, but rather over actual “long terms” of say 5-10 years) I think that markets are reflective of the values being traded.

At the current moment, however, the Mr. Market is being an ass.

The economy cannot possibly be as bad as the main stream media is making out, obviously for the benefit of their anointed candidate. This is a cycle that’s gone on for a long time; in my lifetime, there has been an alleged recession each time that a Republican (after Reagan) has been running for office. Bush I’s recession was illusory; Bush II’s recession in 2004 was also illusory. I believe that we are not in a recession now, although, due to the recent market crash and manipulated oil price shock, we may have a shallow one on our hands over the next couple of quarters. But it will be shallow, and short-lived.

As hedge-funds and massively leveraged investors were forced to unwind their portfolios due to the credit crisis caused by the sub-prime meltdown of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, as well as the Federal Reserve failing to “rescue” Lehman Brothers (which in my opinion will go down in history as the biggest dipshit move the Fed ever made, bar none), we are seeing retail investors start (too late) getting into the selling party.

Folks, Potter’s not selling, he’s buying. A recent op-ed piece by Warren Buffett referenced in this blog earlier tells you all you need to know: Valuations of companies are at an insane level — they are on sale to a degree not seen since 1974. If you have any kind of cash, you should do like Buffett, and buy, buy, buy.

If you have a portfolio, make sure it’s rebalanced, and then hang on for dear life. If you sell out, you are locking in your losses. Let others do that. Every single time there’s been a market crash, people with cash, and people who held on (assuming they were diversified into a spectrum of companies and bonds) were rewarded. Every single time. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

One last thought before I head for dinner. Think of it this way:

Let’s say you own a house. You’re planning on living in that house for a long time. Let’s also say that the real estate market is down, like it was in California in the 90’s. Or now, throughout the nation.

You bought your house for $300,000. You look on Zillow, you read the “comps”. According to Mr. Market, your house is now worth $200,000. Would you sell it now, seeing that it’s declined in value by a third?

Of course you wouldn’t.

Because you know that you’re going to be living in your house for a long time. And you also know that real estate prices in the long term always go up. Especially in inflationary times.

And just as you wouldn’t sell your house just because prices are lower at the moment, neither should you sell out of your investments. You don’t need to move out of your “investment house” — so don’t. Hang on, ignore the day to day news, and just bloody wait.

Let the morons sell to Potter.

Joe Biden:

“It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We’re about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don’t remember anything else I said. Watch, we’re gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.”

“I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate,” Biden said to Emerald City supporters, mentioning the Middle East and Russia as possibilities. “And he’s gonna need help. And the kind of help he’s gonna need is, he’s gonna need you - not financially to help him - we’re gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him. Because it’s not gonna be apparent initially, it’s not gonna be apparent that we’re right.”

I wonder how many thousands will die initially, and then, once he fails utterly to respond in a way that’s “right”, apparently or otherwise, how many more will perish?

(Of course, McCain is the erratic one, right?)

Well, the Sage has spoken. Perhaps Sage is the wrong term; perhaps we should start calling him “King of the Pumpers” but what the heck.

At least you’re buying stocks. Of course, you get special deals to buy yours en masse; you can increase a stock’s price just by buying it and letting everyone know you have, but what the hell.

At least someone’s buying again.

Attention all squirrels: Don’t steal nuts and just think you can get away with it.

BERLIN (Reuters) - Thieves who stole 660 pounds of hazelnuts in Germany have been urgently warned not to eat them.

Hamburg police spokesman Holger Vehren said the sacks containing the nuts were full of poisonous hydrogen phosphate gas, used to extend their shelf life. The nuts must first be treated to make them safe for consumption.

“We’re looking for the perpetrators because they could face a very serious health risk if they eat these hazelnuts,” he said. “The gas is even lethal if they inhale it.”

Woooo wouldn’t that be juicy? JammieWearingFool found this one:

Barack Obama is the target of a shadowy smear campaign designed to derail his bid for the US Presidency by falsely claiming he had a close friendship with an attractive African-American female employee.

The whispers focus on a young woman who in 2004 was hired to work on his team for his bid to become a senator.

The woman was purportedly sidelined from her duties after Senator Obama’s wife, Michelle, became convinced that he had developed a personal friendship with her.

Of course, we know that any such accusation would be racist, a lie, deliberately designed to instantly elect McCain, or divert attention from Sarah Palin’s SAT scores.

But it’s still pretty damned funny. Thanks, Granddaddy Longlegs.

A friend of ours is involved in a project called “Operation Gratitude”, a California 501(c)(3) that sends care packages and letters to our GIs in Iraq and around the world. We heard they were having a “garage sale” at the National Guard armory in Van Nuys yesterday, so we went down to check it out as it’s just a couple blocks from where we like to do what we sometimes can almost call “play golf”.

Anyhow, the sale was great; it consisted of items they just couldn’t send to the troops that had been donated since the beginning of the program, be it because of size or weight restrictions, or inappropriateness, etc. The proceeds go towards the cost of mailing the packages overseas.

We then went into the Armory to see what they were doing — there was a MOUNTAIN of boxes being put together for next weekend’s shipping marathon. We’ll be going next weekend to see if we can lend a hand.

This project is amazing. Operation Gratitude describes it’s mission as:

Hundreds of thousands of American troops are deployed in hostile and remote regions of the world, including the Middle East, Afghanistan, Africa, Guantanamo Bay and on ships throughout international waters. The physical conditions they must endure are difficult and they may be separated from loved ones for long periods of time. OPERATION GRATITUDE seeks to lift troops’ morale, and bring a smile to their faces by sending care packages addressed to individual service members deployed overseas. Operation Gratitude care packages contain food, toiletries, entertainment items and personal letters of appreciation, all wrapped with good wishes of love and support.

Through Collection Drives, Letter Writing Campaigns and Donations of requested items or funds for shipping expenses, OPERATION GRATITUDE provides civilians anywhere in America a way to express their respect and appreciation to the men and women of the U.S. military in an active, hands-on manner.

OPERATION GRATITUDE is a 501(c)(3) non-profit, all-volunteer corporation, funded entirely by private donations. For safety and security, the assembling of all packages occurs at the Army National Guard Armory in Van Nuys, California.

If you have any inkling of donating or volunteering, click the link above and check out their great program and excellent work. And please, help spread the word.

Sig94 has done it again; he’s taken an email he received and imbedded links to the information therein. Makes for fascinating reading on some of the past associations, activities, and life of our next President, Barack Obama. Well worth checking out.

You have GOT to be kidding me. Jimmy Carter is criticizing Bush on the economy?

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - Former President Jimmy Carter said on Friday the “atrocious economic policies” of the Bush administration had caused the worst global financial crisis since the Great Depression of the 1930s.

The SAME Jimmy Carter that gave us:

The SAME Jimmy Carter who gave us:

The same Jimmy Carter who gave us:

Oh. THAT Jimmy Carter.

Well, looks like my instincts were right for a change. When Russia invaded Georgia, I sold our shares in a mutual fund that invests in Russia — and none too soon:

MOSCOW (AP) - Trading on both Russian stock markets was halted on Wednesday after shares plunged within an hour of opening on fears the credit crisis will take a heavy toll on growth.MICEX, where most trading takes place, was shut until Friday after it dropped more than 14 percent to 637.9 points in the first half-hour of trading. The RTS index—which has lost more than 69 percent since its May peak—has been shut down until further notice. It fell 11.3 percent in the first half-hour, dropping to 761.6 points.

Both exchanges have suspended trading on several occasions in recent weeks in a bid to stem steep slides in share prices.

Investors have withdrawn billions of dollars from Russia’s oil-fueled economy since its war with Georgia in August. Sliding oil prices and concerns about the depth of the financial and economic woes in Europe and the U.S. have sent shares into freefall in recent weeks, contributing to the Russian markets’ worst-ever trading day on Monday.

Not that I’m happy about their crash — but if Putin thinks that he can invade his neighbors without fallout, he’s sadly received a really strong message. The coterie of oligarchs that help prop him up in power can’t be very happy with him at the moment. Shucks.

Well, apparently there are many kinds of “community organizers” out there:

LAS VEGAS (AP) - Nevada state authorities are raiding the Las Vegas headquarters of an organization that works to get low-income people to vote.A Nevada secretary of state’s office spokesman said Tuesday that investigators are looking for evidence of voter fraud at the office of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, also called ACORN.

No one was at the ACORN office when state agents arrived with a search warrant and began carting records and documents away.

Secretary of State spokesman Bob Walsh says ACORN is accused of submitting multiple voter registrations with false and duplicate names.

The raid comes two months after state and federal authorities formed a task force to pursue election-fraud allegations in Nevada.

I’m betting they find something. What do you think the over/under is gonna be?

Fox News just announced that Waxman has capitulated to demands that he hold hearings into the real cause of all of this financial storm — Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and their Democrat backers and executives.

He won’t say when the hearings will be, however. Anyone think they will be before the elections next month? Me, either.

The MSM keeps claiming that Barack Obama has only a passing acquaintance with radical left activists.

For a breakdown of who he really knows, works(worked) with and has taken his lead from, David Horowitz’s people have put together Barack World at their website Discover The Networks.

Great stuff, and hats off to Horowitz and the others over there who are doing the media’s job for them.

isn’t the swiftest way to conduct yourself. Especially if you’re not anonymous, and you’re bragging about taking advantage of hurricane relief that you don’t actually need.

As pointed out by Rhymes with Right, this bonehead is now suspended (with pay, of course) from her teaching job after bragging about how she was scoring big off the taxpayers in more ways than just being part of The State Education Monopoly.

In what Steinhauer described as a diary, titled “The Secret Life of an Uninteresting Teacher,” she writes about her love of MREs, her habit of hitting up more than one Place Of Distribution (POD) in trips between Baytown and her Deer Park home, and her enjoyment of life post-Hurricane Ike.

“This is great,” Steinhauer said in her blog. “I don’t have school and getting free food. I still will probably get paid at the end of the month also. Life is great after a hurricane when nothing really happened to your house.”

While adding up her free loot, Steinhauer counted five cases of water, two 20-pound bags of ice, four 10 pound bags of ice, four boxes of MREs (two of the “real military ones” and two boxes meant to last one person one day, and a box with a variety of 12 sack lunches of Chef Boyardee microwavable cups, granola bars, fruit cups and almond cookies.)

Happily, she’s probably in a good deal of hot water now.

Allegations that Steinhauer took advantage of the system and received MREs she may not have really needed while other s went without have prompted an investigation by the Goose Creek school district.

“She’s been placed on administrative lead with pay pending an investigation,” spokeswoman Kathy Clausen said.

My buddy at Signal 94 found this tid-bit in which even the amazing Alec Baldwin (wasn’t he gonna leave the country? Frankly, I’m glad he didn’t since he kills me on 30 Rock…) recognizes that the Democrats are just as much if not more to blame for our current CF in the markets.

Michelle Malkin once again is railing against government intervention in markets created and overseen by the government who are in crisis due to …. you guessed it, the government control of interest rates, financial regulation, the mortgage market, the tax system, international relations, trade treaties, and everything else that allows the free market to operate.

Naturally, of course, the “bail out” package didn’t result in an instant bull market rising 3000 pts today.

Of course, this is a sure sign that they shouldn’t be doing anything regarding the current crisis.

Is it just me, or are people who should know better just bloviating to hear themselves bloviate? Course, at least I’m willing to admit it. Those who are paid to scream from the rooftops will most likely decline to make such admissions.

I think not.

Recent reports that the Taliban are hoping to sit down with the Afghan government and try to work out a peace agreement, while breaking their ties to Al-Qaeda, sound like a giant load of horse-hooey to me.

Cafe Press is hopeful, however, and no doubt there will be lots of new Peace t-shirts and thongs sold on this wondrous news.

and I realized that most people who don’t understand Sarah Palin (or her husband) just don’t get how life is in places like Alaska, Montana, the Dakotas, etc. Posted a reply to a post there:

The problem with all of this Palin-bashing is a fundamental misunderstanding of what it’s like to live in a state like Alaska, the Dakotas, Montana, and the like.

Thinly populated, and dependent either on pure self-preservation or Washington largesse, the populations are often polarized into two big camps: Rugged individualists who are self-reliant and resent authority, or State socialists who wouldn’t be able to stay if it weren’t for the support of the taxpayers both of the state and the US.

This means, in their little playgrounds, that often wide variations occur in their parochial politics that results in things like the Independence Party, or the Constitutionalists and the so-called Militia of Montana.

Applying left-coast or East Coast standards to such places just doesn’t work — and at the same time, doesn’t invalidate the fact that there are talented political minds in such places.

Try taking a trip to one of these places some time. You’ll find that the people, as a whole, are wonderful, down to earth, and want exactly what everyone else does — good education, reasonable taxation, liberty, and effective public services.

Yeah, they have different ways of getting there, but that’s what they all want, just the same, both Right and Left.

Until you do, please, STFU about things you just don’t understand. Kthx.

– Henry

That’s rich.

According to the AP’s Douglass Daniel,

WASHINGTON (AP) - By claiming that Democrat Barack Obama is “palling around with terrorists” and doesn’t see the U.S. like other Americans, vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin targeted key goals for a faltering campaign.

And though she may have score a political hit each time, her attack was unsubstantiated and carried a racially tinged subtext that John McCain himself may come to regret.

Since when is calling Obama’s links (which are extensive and proven) to an unrepentant domestic terrorist carry a racial tinge? Because Obama is black?

We all know that the standard for racism has become: Criticism of a black man is by default racism.

We might as well just call the election now. Anything short of an Obama landslide will prove that the United States is a totally racist company. Let’s save a lot of money, effort, and actual voting, and just crown him now — so he can get started on parting the seas, healing the earth, and bringing peace and prosperity to the solar system.

I give up.

Sort of. Details are still murky, but it looks like Paulson and the Fed now have the tools to unfudge the credit markets. We hope.

In the meantime, the stock market has declined rapidly. What does this mean for investors?

In my opinion, unless you think that the End of the World is nigh, you should sit tight. Although your stocks and mutual funds and ETFs may be lagging what you paid for them, the underlying companies should be just as healthy as they were the week before, by and large. The Hartford didn’t become worth 33% less in one day just because some idiot who runs the majority in the Senate flapped his gums out of turn. Or maybe it did — but you surely don’t have any more than say 1-2% of your portfolio in that stock, right?

If you DO think the world is coming to an end, it’s not going to do you a lot of good to sell and lock in your losses at THIS point, so don’t. If we’re doomed, it’s not going to matter whether you have less money than you did before; after all, we’re doomed, right?

The main problem now with the markets is that typical investors are panicking — in the face of hedge funds selling into any rally that comes along as they try to unwind their tortuous positions. Don’t help them. Breath deep, hang tight, and remember that this economy is so much more incredibly huge, interconnected, and creative by it’s nature than anything they could have imagined in 1929.

and with no Federal intervention (except what the Feds can do themselves without authorization from our absolutely do nothing Congress).

At least my Congresscritter, McKeon, voted correctly today. Hopefully there will be a revote tonight or something and they will get their shi’ite together.

It’s amazing to me that so many of our so-called representatives no so little about how our financial system works (or doesn’t work) that they would be still playing politics with the situation.

Meanwhile, Ron Paul is sitting there railing about how we need “sound money” — while a LOT of his personal wealth is tied up in the very companies that would gain from a return to some sort of idiotic gold standard.

Talk about a conflict of interest.

Bill Clinton has once again shown the kind of statesmanship and class that he has occasionally exhibited throughout his “legacy building” phase after leaving office. Of course, he’s had his slips, but nothing like the idiotic rantings of fellow former President Jimmy Carter:

...Clinton told CNN’s “Larry King Live” on Wednesday that he doesn’t think “dumping” on McCain or his running mate, Sarah Palin, is a winning strategy. He said undecided voters aren’t interested in attacks but solutions for the problems they face.

“I just don’t believe that getting up here and hyperventilating about Gov. Palin, or Sen. McCain for that matter, is a productive use of a former president’s time and is not a vote-getter,” he said, adding that he admires McCain even though he disagrees with several of his positions.

Although I rarely have ever said anything good about the former President, I’m happy he’s taking this approach this time around.

Careful you don’t get a ticket in Italy:

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian court has ruled the government must pay 100,000 euros ($157,700) in damages to a man who was told to retake a driving test because he was homosexual.

When 26 year-old Danilo Giuffrida told doctors he was gay at his medical examination for military service, they passed the information to the transport ministry, who told him he must repeat his driving test or have his license withdrawn due to his “sexual identity disturbance.”

Giuffrida agreed to re-take his test, passed it for a second time, but the ministry renewed his license for just one year rather than the usual 10 years because of his homosexuality.

Don’t go dying in Bordeaux, you WILL be punished.

BORDEAUX, France (Reuters) - The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.

Don’t you just hate it when you find out that that multimillion dollar bank account doesn’t really belong to you, after all?

NEW YORK (AP) - A defense attorney in New York City says her client believed he was rightfully entitled to the $2 million he’s accused of stealing from a bank account managed by someone with the same name. Attorney Julie Fry says Benjamin Lovell “didn’t intend to steal from anyone.” She says he’ll explain in court what the bank told him that led him to believe the $5.8 million account was his.

The 48-year-old Brooklyn salesman has been arrested on grand larceny charges. A judge lowered his bail Friday from $1 million to $10,000 in cash.

Authorities say Lovell spent the misbegotten money on jewelry, cash gifts to friends and failed investments.

The account belonged to a trust, and a different Benjamin Lovell was a signatory on it.

This reporter recently received the following email:

Dear Henry:

I don’t know what to do with this information, but I think it’s very important that the people of America know the truth: I am Barack Obama’s secret love child. My mother had a “fling” with Barack in the early ’80’s, and came away pregnant. Unfortunately, my father refuses to acknowledge my existence as his child, even though I’m working for his campaign in New York. Dad even refused to take a paternity test, so there’s really nothing I can do.

What should I do? Do you think the New York Times would print my story, even though I have no proof of my allegation?

Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Barack “Baba” O’Reilly

Dear Baba,

I really don’t know what to tell you. There’s a good chance that the New York Times will print the story, you should at least give it a try.

Police in the western Czech border town of Cheb have launched an investigation into the theft of a four-tonne railway bridge. “We are not sure if it was taken for personal use or for its scrap value,” police spokeswoman Martina Hruskova told AFP. “It is the first time we have dealt with this type of theft.”

For this brilliant idea — I’m sure the American pleasure Nazis will be able to enhance and implement it in all aspects of our lives. Great.

Smokers could be forced to pay £10 for a permit to buy tobacco if a government health advisory body gets its way.

No one would be able to buy cigarettes without the permit, under the idea proposed by Health England.

In an effort to forstall harsh treatment of our citizens by other powers, including terrorist organizations accustomed to sawing people’s heads off with rusty kitchen knifes, the Senate today set a new standard for absolute idiocy:

WASHINGTON (AP) - The Senate voted Wednesdy to prohibit the CIA from using waterboarding and other harsh interrogation methods on terror suspects despite President Bush’s threat to veto any measure that limits the agency’s interrogation techniques.

The prohibition was contained in a bill authorizing intelligence activities for the current year. The bill would restrict the CIA to the 19 interrogation techniques outlined in the Army field manual. That manual prohibits waterboarding, a method that makes an interrogation subject feel he is drowning. The bill passed on a 51-45 vote.

Apparently, the 19 interrogation techniques also don’t include speaking harshly, interrupting naps, or taking away prisoner’s cable TV. Human rights activists, and other liberal idiots, rejoice.

Awww shucks, this is terrible! An illegal alien advocating the annexation of California, Texas, Arizona and New Mexico back into Mexico (or worse, as it’s own independent Chicano state) was arrested by the immigration authorities.

I just hate it when the Feds actually do their jobs, don’t you?

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has arrested the President of MEChA at Palomar College in San Marcos, California. The 22 year old student, Paola Oropeza, was accused of being in the USA illegally. Also arrested was her father Guillermo Oropeza, her mother María de Jesus Oropeza, and her older sister Claudia Oropeza.

MEChA or Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano de Aztlan is a student group with chapters in many high schools, colleges and universities that promotes Mexican culture and history. MEChA also promotes higher education among Chicano youths. The organization has been under constant attack by USA xenophobes, racists and bigots because the student organization also promotes ethnic pride.

Lauren Mack, a spokeswoman for ICE in San Diego said that Paola, Guillermo and María de Jesus have been deported to Mexico but that Claudia is presently incarcerated at a federal facility.

The arrest of Paola Oropeza, an exemplary college student and pro-immigrant activist, signals that ICE may now be targeting MEChA and its leadership. This is a warning sign to other MEChA Chapters throughout Aztlan.

The San Diego area has seen a series of escalating and hostile actions by ICE and the US Border Patrol. Yesterday, the three major Mexican political parties strongly condemned the launching into Mexican territory of noxious chemical gas canisters by the US Border Patrol. The gas canisters have been launched across the border into Tijuana neighborhoods on several occasions and have injured Mexican civilians including school children.

Imagine the surprise one might have, sitting on the throne, reading the Economist, when suddenly…

FRANKENMUTH — Maintenance of city sewer lines is causing quick bursts of water to splash out of residents’ toilets. The problem has affected about 20 of Frankenmuth’s 1,200 households.

“It’s just real strange,” City Manager Charles Graham told The Saginaw News for a story Friday.

The maintenance usually causes only mild gurgling, Graham said. But in some homes, water has burst onto walls and floors in the city 70 miles north of Detroit.

WATER bursting onto walls? Just water? Ha.

a house to a prospective buyer. You never know what might pop out at you…

LONDON (Reuters) - An estate agent who took a prospective buyer to view a house in central England found the owner hanging dead in a closet, the agency said Thursday.

First, my man Thompson ends his “electoral vacation trip”, finally putting an end to the farce that was his non-campaign, and breaking my heart, just a little. Now, Mitt Romney has thrown in the towel, leaving the GOP race to McCain — a man who will probably bring back the “fairness doctrine” that his alleged ideological father did away with, who will probably grant amnesty to millions of lawbreaking folks, who will probably do away with the already-meager Bush tax cuts and bring back the death tax, and …. ack. OK, breathe. Oh, and then there’s Huckabee, a man who called the conservatives in HIS legislature “Shi’ite Republicans” because they stood up, a little, to his massive tax hikes and spending increases and in-state tuition for lawbreakers, etc., etc.

Against the backdrop of John McCain running for the GOP, we have the spectre of either the corrupt and insatiably ambitious Hillary Clinton, or the empty-suited Barack Obama — both of whom have insisted that we need to retreat inside our shell when it comes to protecting ourselves from global islamofascism; both insist on socialized health care, massive regulation of industry as well as our personal lives to fight some alleged “global warming crisis”, etc. etc.

After re-reading Barbara Olson’s Hell to Pay, I can’t even come close to voting for Hillary; Obama would be highly amusing as our President, at least for the first couple months, but it’s just too important a job to leave to either Larry OR Curly. Unfortunately, Moe is my only choice.

So I guess I’ll sign on as a McCainiac, and hope, as expressed earlier, that he’ll choose a real Republican as a running mate to placate those of us for whom RINO was not the idea when we signed up with the Grand Old Party.

Apparently, in her 35 years of non-stop public service, Bill and Hillary have accumulated a fortune! I never realized that “fighting for the children” paid so well!

Senator Hillary Clinton confirmed at a press conference in Virginia this afternoon that she’d loaned her campaign $5 million, and said, “The results last night proved the wisdom of my investment..”

Spokesman Howard Wolfson emailed with the news minutes earlier: